For every action, there is a reaction.  For every “yes” we said to make this year happen, there was a “no” that also had to happen.  This week has been a reflection of those “yes” and the “no”s.

When I was 21, I traveled after college for a year as a Watson Fellow. At that time, there were not a lot of “no”s in my life; I wasn't sure what I wanted to do next, I was not in a relationship, and I had no one and nothing depending on me.  The toughest and most significant “no” that year was not being able to return for the wedding of my aunt and uncle-two people I had introduced to each other. 

This year it was very different.  Our whole family had a house, dogs, work, school and friendships and all of us, especially the girls, had to change in one way or another to leave.   As our time away has progressed, we notice the  things we have had to say “no” to: the first day of school, work gatherings, awards missed, the Alaska State Fair. The world keeps turning, the colors fade to autumn reds, and the windy winter chill makes its presence felt in the afternoon. Our time away has started to feel real and meaningful which is both liberating and sad.  This weekend, one of those “no”s surfaced when my beautiful, funny, smart and gracious cousin got married in Colorado. She played her flute at my wedding, she has always made me laugh, and she has always been my kindred spirit in our crazy family.  To miss her wedding day was hard!  As my family gathered in Colorado, cousin pictures and meeting plans popped up via group text throughout the day and night. The choice we made to be here, instead of at her wedding, continued to crystallize.  The girls talked endlessly about their love for family gatherings, cousin time, grandparents, and what they would be doing if they were present.  We talked about how much we love our families and that sense of community and how we all wished we were there in person but knew we were there in spirit.   We are all grateful that we said “yes” to this year and to our own unique family adventure. We appreciate the clarity that comes with distance, but we recognize that the “no”s we have said are what to allow us to be here for this special time together in our lives.  We spent the day of the wedding climbing another spectacular peak while the girls hiked up a different trail to play in the woods and on a boardwalk - independent and free in the bright sun.  We came home, talked to our families with technology (that gives us the illusion that the world is incredibly small) and we sent our love and our blessings from our little perch - 200 miles above the Arctic Circle.