Details of the ride

Somehow I thought this would be longer and harder than it was.  Many other people shared their stories and adventures with us which made the trip possible. I used their blogs and stories to help not only visualize our trip but plan as we went, so in return I wanted to share what we learned in case it helps or inspires anyone else.

Planning:  The facebook group Seoul to Busan and Beyond (SBB) is amazing.  A wealth of information, real time support from those who have been there and and a sense of community.   On this facebook group one can find links to strava data, maps and more.

Bike Rental:  I can not say enough good things about Bike Nara in Seoul.  This large bike store rented us bikes for the trip, had them picked up for us in Busan so we could continue on our adventure, shipped our remaining gear to our hotel.  The bikes were perfectly complete with panniers and a small bag for my youngest. He had nicer, faster bikes, spoke great english and was incredibly kind. They sold us passport books and gave us details & tips on the map.  I had told him we didn’t have a plan of how long it would take and they were flexible with the time schedule and even checked in to make sure we were having fun when we were on the trail. We could have not done this trip this year without Bike Nara!

Route finding:  As many people will mention, the Naver app is far superior in Korea.  We would put in the next certification center and off we would go. The girls did all the route finding  and as long as they were paying attention we were good.

Food and water:  It was hot much of the time we were biking and food and water could be spread out, so we just got used to carrying extra.  I would usually have a 2 L water in my bag plus some snacks. Many of our calories come from convenience stores and there is more in the “Korean eating blog”  but it was not a problem.

Lodging: The towns become a little more spread out as you get toward the last third of the trip, so we had to plan each day.  One day we thought we had to go 45 miles between towns, and found that there really was lodging between the two. For light bikes and the cultural experience we were grateful we didn’t plan ahead and there were plenty of places.  With small kids or for more flexibility in stopping I could see the advantage of a tent.

The breakdown:  Here is a breakdown of how we did our days as the list of other people’s “days” helped us figure out where we might get lodging next.  

Day 1: Ara locks to Gangam-Gu.  38.9 miles

After a morning of picking up our bikes and navigating the subway to the start, the first day was an amazing urban bike ride into the heart  of Seoul. Many people skip this section and just start at their hotel in Seoul but we loved his day and were glad we did the whole thing, but maybe it was the impressive tail-wind  for the first twenty miles and the joy of being on a bike. It was also fun to spend our first night in the famous district of Gangnam and have an amazing dinner and great bed.

Day 2: Gangnam - Yeoju: 54.8 miles

A longer day for the girls, they were anxious to push it a little further.  This was the most developed section of the whole trail, coffee shops, restaurants, biking and bikers everywhere.  This area had amazing bike tunnels. My Strava had 61 segments on this day and it must be where all of Seoul goes to bike. Not knowing what to expect we passed through this area quickly, but could have easily spent more time.  We found ourselves in the first love motel that night and spicy octopus for dinner.
Day 3: Youju - Ang Seong Hot Springs: 26.4 miles

A shorter day after two longs days of breaking in the saddle we learned this day all the cafes don’t continue and we need to start caring a little more food and water with us.  We ended in a beautiful small hot springs town that we loved so much we even thought about staying for a second day.

Day 4: Angseoung Hot Springs - Sunabo Hot Springs: 35.1 miles

Many people stay in the town of Sunabo as it is before 2 larger climbs of the trail.  Clearly a tourist town, packed with pheasant restaurants and a nice hot springs, everything was a bit pricey but we had a nice night, staying at a hotel with a bunny farm and clearly very used to  bike tourist.

Day 5: Sunabo - Mungyeong.  33.61 miles

This day was up and over the two larger hills.  They were beautiful and nice climbs, but the day got hot quickly and we were grateful the climbs were in the morning.  By mid afternoon it was so hot we hung out in a coffee shop for a few hours, letting it cool down before we went looking for a hotel room.  Mungyeong was the most run down town we stayed where we bypassed a few hotels because of the uncomfortable groups of men hanging outside of hotel  and if we were to do again, we would have skipped this town, or looked around for other places further from the train station.

Day 6: Mungyeong -  Gumi. 52.5 miles

This section starts to get a bit more spread out.  There was one section right after the bike museum where we all started and went different directions, Traverse and the kids following signs that looked like the trail, but turns out to be a connector trail.   They did about an extra 10 miles to the distance above, when they had to bike back to find me and we all continued on together. Getting into Gumi was a bit more of a challenging ride then I expected, one time taking an elevator to a bridge over a busy street.  More amazing flowers along this section.

Day 7: Gumi  - Daegu (Nakdonggang) 30 miles

Today was slow given the heat and length of the day before and Isabelle started to get sick and got stung by a bee on the forehead resulting in increasing swelling throughout the day.  Daegu is a huge city, and the area of Nakdonggang was the closest we could find to the trail. The area was fine, lots of outlet stores and office buildings, but not our favorite stop.

Day 8: Rest day

We woke up to pouring rain, blowing winds, Isabelle’s left eye was swollen closed, and her right was almost closed resulting in no depth perception and a hard time seeing.  Given that we had no huge time pressure, it seemed like a rest day was in order and we all enjoyed the break.

Day 9: Daegu  - Namji 56.2 miles

After a day of rest and cooler temperatures, today, despite being longer and more elevation climbing (many short hill that required pushing our loaded bikes) felt like a breeze and probably our favorite day.  Temples, short ascents and descents, poppies everywhere, and smaller villages. We all enjoyed the town of Namji which was small enough to navigate through, but large enough for hotel and food options. Everyone felt like they could keep going and we were all a bit sad the trip was coming to an end.

Day 10: Namji - Yangsan 39.7 miles

Closing in on the end, 40 miles seems like nothing to the girls now.  Easy beautiful day through poppies. Not a lot of towns, but we have our system down by now and enjoyed picnics and took our time. Yangsan is just outside of Busan, but a fun community with a ton of bike shops, the best Sushi I have ever had at Mr. Sushi and a clean, modern hotel not far off the trail.

Day 11: Yangsan - Busan. 22.8 miles

By 9:30 in the morning we had made it to the finish. The whole ride was accompanied by walkers, bikers and joggers enjoying this stretch of trail.  The end was more built up than the start, and at 10 am the girls were able to get their passports certified and certificates, a fun official feeling to completing the ride.   We enjoyed the parks foot baths and hung around before braving into the city to our hotel that night, which took a bit of dirty city biking to get to. In hindsight we might have braved the subways with bikes and headed straight for Haeundae beach given the hotel options near the end, but all is well that ends well.

At the end of the day we all agreed this was one of our favorite bike trips ever given the supportive set up.  The girls were seriously contemplating skipping the beach and continuing to bike and are hoping to return some day to complete the rest of the trails in South Korea.  Thank you to all of you who inspired us to do this trip and happy to help others who may be interested. It was amazing.

This sweet dog biking with the girls near the end, clearly this was not his first escort.

Riding to the end across another cool 3D painting.

The girls filling out their official paperwork at the end

enjoying our foot baths t the end with the pressure air dryers to go with them. Full service biking support!

Wishes written on paper boats at the end, these small pieces of art adding to every part of our experience

Taking a bath

Traveling with one teenager and one preteen girl across a broad swath of cultures and customs that view and treat the human body and sexuality differently has been an eye opening and usually entertaining experience.  From the stoicism of the Norwegians, to the practically naked Croatians and the muslim water parks of Malaysia we usually are finding ourselves googling and guessing on the culturally appropriate amount of body to expose when it comes to swimming, playing and bathing.  Our time in rural Korea was one more fun step along that adventure.

The center of Koreas is full of hot springs, and we decided to bike though this section slowly to get the most out of them.   In the first small town listed on our map as the “carbonated hot springs” we biked around looking for any motel, and finally found the  “On You” which also housed a “pubic bath” or hot springs.

After an lovely dinner, we decide to explore the baths.  Divided by sex, Traverse headed one way, we headed the other, first through the shoe room then the dressing room. I could not tell if it was a nude or swimsuit bath so I continued with my cultural guessing and while google provided guidance for Japan, I had found nothing for Korea and decided I would play it safe and head in with my suit on.  Wrong decision. I was quickly rempranded in Korean and nearly stripped of my swimsuit which started the next 15 min of Korean naked women describing in detail all the things I should and should not do, me smiling having no idea what was being said. I laughed, at this point used to the cultural fopas despite my best intentions, warning the girls that if they wanted to swim, they best be naked.  Which meant leaving your cloths in the lockers, no towels but a small face towel to navigate between different locker, entrance and bathing rooms.

Now fully naked we headed into what looked like a mirrored sitting shower room with women very aggressively scrubbing every part of themselves.  We joined in “showering” before entering the tubs with more friendly tips on hot vs cold water and I am sure many other pieces of advice we missed given the language barrier.   Hot baths, cold bath, sauna, and a very murky mineral bath made up the public baths, and despite being in there 2 hours total, every other woman was there when we got there, and still there when we left.  The girls laughed, talked and braved the cold water, teasing me with the line I use on them “you can do hard things” as I shrank away from the cold pool where they sat completely dunked and meditative telling me it was all about needing to build my “mental strength,” turning my words against me.

After a year of a different view and expressions of the human body, walking around without clothes in this public bath felt like one more step along this journey and I reflected how far we have come.   As I watched in amazement at these two girls becoming women, and wondered how seeing their own rapidly changing bodies in these different cultural connect would influence the way they see themselves in the years to come.  

Posing by the hearts before heading into the first set of baths. Sorry no pictures of the actual baths ;-)

Love motels

The landscape of possible lodging options in Korea went well beyond our familiar world of  Airbnb, VRBO, Agoda.com, Hotel.com and Bookings.com. Fortunately a few websites and facebook groups gave us an overview before we headed out.  

Most families doing this trip seem  to camp given the abundance of free camping options, including covered gazebos and flexibility in distance that camping provides.  However, we were doing this trip with what we had which meant no bike shorts, no bike computer and no camping gear.

There are many different types of lodging, one blog post talked about the twelve different types of  accommodations, from minibanks, to pensions, and jimjibangs.  It is a whole language itself learning the ins and out of Korean lodging options.  Through the center of Korea and off the beaten track however our options were limited by distance between towns, distance from the bike path and  not wanting to add too many additional miles through cities. We also wanted to stay together as a family, eliminating many of the cheaper dorm style options and usually found lodging the day we got  into the city and occasionally the day before and so began our love affair with the love motel.

Most of the motels found off the beaten track are near train stations and bus stations.  They take no reservations, can be rented by the hour or day and are reportley used by couples looking for some alone time.   We had heard that you and identify a love motel by the large strings covering the opening to obscure the cars parked inside and our adventures through them were continually entertaining and they were our cleanest most reliable source of lodging through most of our biking adventure.

Mirrored ceilings, partially frosted bathroom windows with naked women etched in the glass, bed heater and bed vibrators, multicolored LED lights in every room, whole arrays of body lotion and hair spray, men and womens condoms come in every room as regularly as soap and conditioner.   Inspiring love poems on walls where it often felt like something got lost in translation and curtin reception areas where not seeing the desk clerk made our lack of Korean even more challenging. It was our biking, Korean version of sex ed class for this final stage of homeschooling and a source of endless laughs.

Lily making her way thought he “curtains” that block the visibility of who comes in and out of the love motels.

The door near our love motel one day

Waking up to our color LED lights

so many options

Ahh the quotes, always love the quotes.

Korean Eating

The thing about biking through the center of South Korea is we got off the beaten track and the need for food, water and a place to sleep pushed all of us out of comfort zone just a bit more.

At the start of this year, the girls did not love mushrooms, but by now they don’t hesitate to eat every one of them, as it is a food they can identify, which at times can be a rarity.   This growth curve rapidly progressed in South Korea between the hunger produced by biking and the unique nature of much of the Korean food we encountered and our lack of Korean language skills and the limitations with translation.

Spicy long leg occupus soup, with the live octopus swimming nearby, “anchovy living in a leaf” dinner, small brown things that prompted a long discussion if the item was a fungus, a vegetable or an intestine of some type with no clear answer.   

We got to the point at the end of the day, that if we could find a restaurant we would manage by asking for, “food for us” with google translate and  see what happened, often times we were more successful with the universal body language coupled with large smiles and that got us further than attempts at actual words.  

Usually what followed was bowl after bowl of goodness and an occasional ability to identify what we were eating.  We got good at the massive scissors that accompany most meals to cut apart the protein, that everything is served bubbly hot and the tricks of cooking our own BBQ on the electric table, and balancing the bowl of garlic with the onions and meat.

Convenience stores also become a mainstay of many of our meals.   After a bit of total indulgence in junk food, we slowly learned how to make a “meal” that was more sustaining  for a long day in the heat with what we could find. Seaweed rice and tuna triangles were the best, cans of tuna in seaweed, frozen yogurt shakes and nuts became favorite finds.  After eating instant ramen with “chopsticks” we made from torn cups we also learned that you must always have a pair of chopsticks in your bike bag!

But the thing I will remember most is the lovely women, who spoke no english but by part way through the meal would be sitting  with us on the floor, laughing, showing us how to wrap the meat in lettuce and holding Lily’s braids or running back to bring the girls more seaweed,  milk or some other food suddenly deemed critical for their survival and the generosity in which they shared their culture and the joy of sharing a meal.  An experience that happened repeatedly on the road and as a moment of shared joy around a table of bubbling hot goodness.

Hot pot eggs and and long legged spicy octupus for dinner

more amazing Korean BBQ

Live octopus for dinner

Octopus head attached

another on the road picnic from connivence station food.

Seoul to Busan, starting our adventure across South Korea

Our minimal bags shrunk further to fit on our bikes and we handed the reins over to the girls on an unstructured 400+ mile biking adventure across South Korea.  

As parents we have converted to “app mode” with only safety notifications being turned on in order to give the girls a chance be the main operating system.  By allowing them to “do” instead of “follow” we hope they know they are so much more than a blue dot making their way to the red dot on the map. They are instead a person, along a river, next to a sign and another human who they can ask for help.  We all struggle to figure out how our new augmented realities are shaping our every interaction. We both embrace the technology that enables us to do this trip, supported by FaceBook biking groups, Booking.Com and google translate not to mention work conference on the bike path and long talks with friends.  But also struggle how that takes us away from the now and the “happy accidents” that make up so many great adventures.
So here is to the adventure; to the unknown, to patience to follow and the strength to lead.  Here is the open road and the purpose found in movement where we have continued to find a well of joy.

Here they are at the start, hoping the smiles are just as big at the end of our adventure.

The girls making their way on the subway to start the adventure.

Trying to be as small as we can on the subway but still feeling awfully big.

Fitting in

Making our way to the start

Along the whole route are these great stamp booth, each with their own unique stamp you place in a biking passport. After we finally found the start, we got to mark off the first passport stamp.

Showing off her book with the trails of South Korea in the background.

Just follow the blue line for 633 KM to Busan, no problem.

And off they go!

Bike only paths.

One could do a whole book of the bike art in South Korea. It made the ridding so much more fun.

Snack time.

It is hard to describe how crazy awesome the path is, especially around Seoul. Between the mountain, the river and the road, they have left space for the person on a bike.

Getting getting ready for stamp 2.

Making her mark as we progress.

Seoul

After Taipei, we thought we were feeling a little burnt out of large Asian cities.  There are only so many times a night market is exciting, a temple is beautiful or subway line impressive, so when we landed in Seoul South Korea it was without much fanfare.

But like anything, when the expectations are low, the reward is often that much better, and that was very true with Seoul.  This beautiful city won our hearts through its neighborhoods. Instead of the massive maze of Ho Chi Minh, Taipei or even the nicely dressed maze of Singapore, the little we saw of Seoul was full of charm, beautiful neighborhoods, trails, parks, fantastic food, all connected by bike paths and subways.

We stayed in a charming Airbnb, made personalized perfumes in a real-world chemistry class at the heart of an ancient part of the city and enjoyed lovely walks and runs in the park, watched a Korean traditional dance, visited museums, ate at michelin star dumpling restaurant, learned how to eat Korean Barbeque, and enjoyed perfect coffees.   

We came to South Korea; however, not for Seoul, we came here for the Four Rivers bike path - a 400-mile long trail that connects Seoul to Busan.  The day we were planning to start was raining hard, so we postponed the trip a day, again grateful for the flexibility for this year.

The beauty of the perfume class.

I have leaned to love the feeling you get in each city when you first arrive. The vast open modern feeling of Seoul greeted us as we excited the MRT.

With a little funk added in.

Having fun.

Our final product.

I loved the fact many Koreans dress in traditional cloths (often rented for the day) to go to the museum, or out to dinner.

This kiddo was not as excited.

Art everywhere. This was clearly related to some children’s game as kids kept jumping on.

I would have come to Seoul for this book store alone. I loved this eight story display.

and so did this kiddo.  

Touring Taipei

Taipei was a time for us to get caught up, exercise, and give the girls some time to explore on their own.  We really didn’t know what to expect in Taiwan in general, but without a car, not wanting to travel with an organized tour, we decided to home base for just over a week in the capital.  

Acupressure classes with dozens of older men and women (some in wheelchairs) in the park.   

Lifting weights at the community gym with local meatheads and a few older people who looked to be a 100.

Pony Burger’s most amazing burgers and the lovely couple who runs the place.

Our daily walk past a brothel and explaining the details of that one to the kids.  

The girls taking off for the day on the subway.

The double mothers day, once with kids, movie, water parks and fun (but no mention of it being mothers day) and the second celebration two days later on the day they thought was mothers day (all these time zones and international date lines seem to throw us all off), giving me a chance to count my blessings twice.    

And bubble tea, so much bubble tea.

Like a spring getting ready to let go, Taipei was a great resting place for us to spring into South Korea and on to the next adventure.

Taroko Gorge

The bus ride up Taroko Gorge was breathtaking and beyond what I had expected.  As we stepped off the bus and took a long deep breath of the fresh, moist mountain air, Lily looked at me and said mom, “I really, really missed nature.” “Yes my girl, me too, me too.”

The Taroko Gorge is a stunning marble gorge outside of Hualian.  It is called the “Grand Canyon” of Taiwan, but it is so very different: deep lush forest, huge mountain faces and deep gorges with crystal water rushing over white marble cliffs.  The area is impressively protected, much like Zion or Denali national park where almost everyone travels by public bus or tour bus with a few side trails. 

Most people stay at the base and visit for a day as there limited lodging in gorge, but we lucked out with a deal and stayed for 2 nights in the gorge itself landing us in a mountain bliss were we all agreed we could stay all month.  As road bikers passed, and hikers explored I just wanted to get out on foot and see and feel as much of it as I could.  We hiked, explored, enjoyed, but for me, the highlight was the last day.  I wanted more time, I wanted to see and feel the gorge, and so Traverse and the kids spent some extra time in the pool and then took my bag down on the bus as I ran the length of the gorge taking in the sites as I went.  My mind wandered as my feet hit the ground thinking back to Norway, Croatia, Bhutan, Vietnam, and the many roads and places we have seen, again so grateful for the moment, stunned by the beauty of this place and the opportunity of this year. 

Reflecting back on where the road has taken us.

The beauty was stunning.

And the road was a work of art

The trail took us through 7 tunnels the last one will if waterfall curtains.

Headed up

I could have looked at this rock forever - stunning marble carved slowing by the forces of water and time.

Fun time in this stunning pool

Beautiful temples in the heart of these mountains.

Loving the time to explore

Letting the bus pass on this impressive road

More magic roads

A hike after the run up a stunning valley

discovering

A pool of duckies - yes please

Fun all around

Landing in Taiwan

We landed in Tapie caught the MRT (Taiwan’s train system) into the city center and like hearing underwater, the world was suddenly both the same and profoundly different.  It first struck me getting on the escalator and seeing a massive line for the right side (where you ride down) and the rest of the escalator and stairs were totally clear. The physics of the escalator were the same, how to use it was completely different.  We moved from a land of chaos to a land of rules.

It has made me think a lot about these social rules and expectations we have and apply to our surroundings.   A friend posted on facebook about how “inappropriate” a man was who “grabbed her arm for a selfie.” I had to read it a few times to see what was inappropriate, as that was a daily experience here in  Asia, but had to remind myself not so much at home. Old women regularly grab Lily’s braids and say how beautiful she is almost daily. Women pretending to “faint” on how handsome Traverse is, Isabelle, being totally undressed and “handled” during a shopping trip for a swimsuit top.   Later that day she said, “mom six months ago that would have freaked me out, now it is just the norm.” As we hit the modernity of Taipei it made realize how much this year is shiting our experience and expectations and I think I am going to miss the random selfies.

As we adjust our gears to a new country and a new culture we have been reminded that the goal of the year was not to be comfortable, but build resiliency.  And when our first nights hotel was accidently booked for the wrong month and we were searching for a place to stay that night, or the town we thought we would love for 3 weeks turned out to be more a sprawling suburb -we found ourselves stumbling with google translate as the language hurdle was larger than we anticipated.

But we adjust, we prioritize and do what we always do when life doesn’t go like you planned, head to the mountains. Taiwan's backbone is comprised of towering mountains reaching almost 10,000 ft tall shields the productive cities of the westside that have transformed Taiwan into the ’little dragon’ of Asia or this ‘modern miracle’ of industrialization.  The east coast is still rugged an beautiful and much in the same condition as it was when the Portuguese sailors in the 1500’s “described” it, naming it “Formosa” or “beautiful island.” So off to the hills we go to see the sites and re equilibrate.

Grabbing a picture of this stunning view

Welcome to Taipei!

The train system has made getting around the island much more straight forward and enjoyable

Speeding down the coast

Finding a local art studio

End enjoying the art along the way

Impressive bike infrastructure

I love seeing how comfortable they have become in all sorts of new places and settings

Headed back on the train

Some days there was English writing that made sense

Other days we tried google translate. Never ending entertainment “please don’t waste your face.”

And most of the time it all worked out

Another thing we could not get over were the short, fat shaved dogs.

And the random fun beautiful art along the streets

The pendulum of the now

In the future lies the excitement of the possible mixed with the fear and anxiety of the unknown and what ifs.  In the past lies the warm memories of that which came before, but with the anger and loss of what has been and can no longer be.  And between the extremes of this pendulum lies the joy and grace of the now.

This year has been a physical manifestation of this pendulum.  Embracing the beauty of all that is in the now, knowing I can not hold onto the past as I struggle to bring my mind back from the future and all that may be.  

There was this moment in Vietnam that I keep “feeling” when I think of what this year has meant to me.  Traverse and I were on bikes, the kids at the hotel working.   It was scorching hot, just standing still resulted in rivers of sweat running down my back.   We were in a new city, and the streets were packed, their normal state of chaotic movement.  Traffic lights, signs and sidewalks are merely suggestions rarely followed by the motorbikes, cars, bicycles, water buffalo all moving along their own, completely unpredictable trajectories.   As I biked, I felt like I was floating, a sense of weightlessness.  I was not worried about the girls; they have their own wings now to fly.  I did not fight or hate the heat, I just thought of it as a Norwegian sauna and breathed into it, finding cool from within.  I let go of the fear of safety, as the risk-calculations had been done so many times this year, it was no longer done mentally, more felt instinctive.    I knew my best protection was my ability to keep moving.  The way to not get hit both here and in life is to move slowly, predictable in the direction I wanted to go.  By doing so, one gains an extra power, like a force field, where the traffic then bends around you making a way forward where it once looked like an impassable wall of chaos.   The road ahead was to be in the now.

And it is that simplicity, that breath into the now, that I treasure most from my time in Vietnam.   As our flight took off, I felt the bond break between the wheels of the plane and the solid earth below.  I embraced the power of less as the wings were lifted not by more but from the vacuum into the impossibility of flight.  13 years to the day after my sister left this world, I breathed into the fleeting sense of our time on this planet, and in this year with a renewed sense of wonder and awe of this life, we get to live.  Knowing more by feeling than from thinking, that if we keep moving forward with our hearts full and minds clear in the joy of the now, we stay upright and the impossible suddenly bends into the possible.

Final Days in Vietnam

We had planned to spend three months in Hoi An, a lovely city in the middle of Vietnam but as our wish list grew of things we wanted to see, things kept getting stacked in before it; Cambodia, Angkor Wat, Saigon, Halong Bay, Sapa.   In Danang we were loving the beach so much we debated about skipping Ho Ani all together, but reminded ourselves that seeing new things sometimes taking leaving things you love and we were glad we did.

Hoi An was a perfect end to our time in Vietnam.   A little like Disney World, is a bit touristy but picture perfect and highlights that embraces the best of Vietnam.  Colorful lanterns, quant old town full of bikes, wishing candles and a pleasant infusion of western treats like a good cappuccino and avocado toast that we had missed.  We have become accustomed to no plans, and Vietnam made that easy with its friendly people paired with  cheap and plentiful food and accommodations. We ended up staying in four different locations between the old town, beach and vegetable fields, with the final one on the beach being what Traverse thought was our most amazing accommodation of the year.  We all were a little sad to leave.  Somehow I thought three months would be a long time and I think back to when we first landed in Saigon, overwhelmed by the city, the noise, the chaos and how much has changed since that time.

Thank you Vietnam for showing us the meaning of resilience.

Thank you for welcoming us with open arms, changing the extraordinary into the ordinary. 

We will be back.

The town is known for its lanterns and every full moon they turn off the town lights to add to the mood. Like the potted plants of Norway, the lanterns of Vietnam always brought joy.

the beauty of this town was stunning

hello with love!

just another morning

the textures and colors in the town were beautiful

5:30 am is the time to see the town as the heat of summer was baring down and few other tourist are found this time of day.

fresh fish

Morning beauty

the rising sun, another lantern in the sky

morning fishing in town

doors to history

The town sits in the center of a delta, providing a bounty of fish and fertile soil.

before a cooking class, we had the opportunity to farm. 300 years this garden has been going strong. Isabelle is adding seaweed to the soil to prepare for the seedlings.

our amazing guide, full of smiles who could move dirt at the speed of light.

Getting the seaweed ready for the soil

all smiles before she was put to work

Isabelle learning the ways of watering the fields

but none of us came close to the speed and competency of this expert

getting things ready for the cooking class

playing with fire

which was kind of fun...

the girls love art and this beautiful home stay offered a leather binding book class. Lily could have stayed here all month if we let her.

the product of her hard work

she came back for a second class, this time making a beautiful leather travel purse

on the full moon we headed out for the lantern festival. This sweet women took us out giving us each a paper lantern with a candle- releasing them into the water with a wish. While the whole event appears to be a bit more for the tourist, it was a beautiful tradition and a beautiful evening

these two, getting ready to release their wishes

after the lanterns we explored the night market, finding the usual fair

At least this one was not jumping

one of the other main attractions in this town is tailoring, so the girls learned the process of going from an idea to a reality (and the many pins involved) and hoping their creations make it across the sea via mail.

Just another day with the almighty bike that turns the ordinary into the extraordinary

I will never get enough of these

back alleys for drying

our last days were beach days, endless white sand, fishing boats and pure beauty

these guys convinced the fisherman to take them out, like a tea cup ride it was entertaining to watch

fisherman at sea

running with Isabelle, being able to have my girls push me as much as I push them is one of the great joys of having them grow

many times you would see old people buried in the sand, there must be some perceived health benefit, we were not sure, but it was fun

Sand, sea, sky and family, what’s not to love?

loving the designs

not a bad place for a date night

ahhh, Vietnam, we have loved you.

Morning beauty  

Growing up - Lily turns 11

When we left the had a little girl, stuffy in hand, pants that fit who loved to be tucked in every night.  And now I stare in amazement at this young woman blooming before my eyes able to navigate the world often on her own, and who pushes herself and us to grow at every opportunity.  Somehow this year was like the Alaskan summer sun for Lily; twenty-four hour light causing her to grow faster, stronger and sweeter than I thought was ever possible.

She has always beat to her own drum with an eye for the beauty and an ear for the song.  As the days rushed towards another year around the sun for her we enjoyed all that Danang had to offer, a modern, pulsing growing city on “China Beach” an impossibly long and wide white sand beach.  Danang was like the eastern tourist town, the balance to the Hanoi’s western tourism. Loud, modern, pulsating lights and karaoke by the beach. Company team building events with mass weddings and endless selfie-shoots in the early morning and evening leaving the beach almost deserted midday.  Isabelle and I explored countless alleys, streets, bakeries, jewelers trying to piece together the bits of birthday. Meanwhile Lily spent her days before her birthday completing all of her school work a solid month ahead of schedule.

The day was a celebration of her and this adventure, blowing out candles in the shower to not set off the smoke detector, sand castles and wave jumping, painted nails and our first American movie in a movie theater since we left, complete with popcorn and pizza.   But I kept finding myself quiet and reflective. In awe at her strength, determination, and beauty on the cusp of adulthood. I find myself just holding on to these days that rush past sure I am seeing the pants get shorter as I look at her legs, in awe of this not so little person who I get the privilege to call my daughter.  

“They are the sons and daughters of Life’s longing for itself. They come through you but not from you. And though they are with you, they belong not to you.”

— Kahlil Gibran

Growing before our eyes

Always an adventure with these two.

Endless shells on the beach

Lily has an eye for beauty, so we chose to take advantage of the currency difference and stay at this beautiful hotel the week of her birthday.

Sunrises here were spectacular

Pool, sea, sky.... endless beauty.

What happens after morning yoga sessions.

The endless beach

Asian King doing his yoga

Quick dip in the pool

Headed to dinner for the birthday girl

Opening presents, appreciating the little things

Blowing out birthday candles in the shower as it was too windy outside and we were too afraid of the smoke detector inside.

I loved this beautiful gift Isabelle made for Lily for her birthday, true to who they are from the hair to the outfits they have been wearing all year.

Ninh Binh

Days, nights, rain, sun.

Two weeks pass...

Boats, bikes, cliffs and rice patties.

Whole roasted goats for sale.

Double biking.

Terrifying hair cuts

Returning to running.

Extended pool games after breakfast

The days all blend together.

I mentioned to Isabelle, “I feel like we didn’t do a lot there, what do I write?” She looked at me inquisitive and said, “really, I feel like we did a bunch.” “Don’t you remember double biking, dogs in dog cages, the really bad breakfast, the good pizza place, motorcycle adventures, and more biking” she said. “How about the sound of a dying pig, playing with baby kittens, dancing water plants, abandoned theme parks with dried out lakes and marooned swan boats and some more playing on bikes with Lily”. “The homestay owner calling Dad ‘the most important person’ every morning and arriving supper sleeping after a night bus from Sapa with disco lights and people tucked into every corner.” “The epic bike trip, when we first learned to bike two on the bike on the really rough path and we were always falling or how about walking in the heat through rice patties with our backpacks to our new hotel”.

So I guess there was a lot, but it has just become our norm. The kids crawl into a sleeper bus with seat belt straps chewed apart and disco lights and kids on the floor and say, “well i guess this is where we sleep tonight.”

After leaving Sapa we settled into a routine in this Halong Bay of the land, Ninh Binh and the surrounding towns, quietly balancing traditional life with the growth of tourism and we struggled to find our balance between our minds wondering home and being present for the now.

“What do you want your morning routine to look like for school next year?” Lily asks Isabelle as we pass through a cave on a small boat under a towering cliff this world UNESCO site.

Life has it’s own new norm as we find ways to take what we have learned from this year and put them together into tangible things we can take home. Double biking is clearly one of them.

Life is more fun with two. Even when we had access to another bike, this was their prefered way of travel, a moving mass of giggles that seemed to test gravity at every turn.

We biked about 35 Km the first day to this pagoda and back. We got there, it was hot, we were tired and decided to not go in. That has been one the blessings of this year, the ability to get the door of an opportunity and chose to not go through to keep in check with our larger values and goals

Biking home along the lake looking back at the pagoda

Harvest time

Our first place we stayed was a homestay near these cliffs, this was a view from the breakfast window.

And more double biking

Lily definitely would get her workouts, loving to bike Isabelle as Isabelle worked as automatic trainer wheels and extra power if needed.

The limestone formations here are amazing. The first boat tour we did was three spectacular hours of being paddled along the rivers at the base of these cliffs and then through narrow caves that connected otherworldly valleys. It reminded me a lot of the dramatic lush landscape of Hawaii and was where the newest King Kong was filmed, it also happens to be where school schedules were planned for the following year.

Ever the entrepreneurs, this makeshift market at the end of this boat ride where small market boats would approach and hand you and your drivers handfuls of food and drink for “very good price”. It was entertaining watching a world of different cultures deal with the forced negotiation with their own cultural bias.

Traditionally many of these boats are paddled by foot, freeing the hands for selfies, snacks, umbrellas or any other need of the day.

Boats line up waiting for the next bus load of tourist

Empty boats going to park after they have delivered their guest

Just another day at the job. The hip flexibility of the Vietnamese is impressive.

One of the rides was only two at time, and we have become much more comfortable with letting them head out on their own.

Everywhere we went we saw water buffalo. The streets, outside the cafe, cooling off in the ditch.

A day exploring on motorbikes to see what we missed when we were limited to our own power.

Exploring a beautiful temple tucked in the mountains and caves.

These two, off exploring the world

Again, so grateful for our small bags as we walk from one home to the next in the heat and humidity along the rice patties.

Harvesting the never ending aray of water plant for dinner later.

Up high you could get a better lay of the land, the river basin cultivated at the base of these limestone cliffs growing rice.

I can’t get enough of the asian selfie. One moment you will be a at a place, on your own and then a bus will unload, women and men dressed to the nines each angling for their own shot. I often sit back and wonder what it would look like if I could see at once the digital uploads we now create every second, me adding to the pile of the pictures of the selfie.

Morning work

Biking again ;-) By the end of our two weeks we felt like we know most every path in this area.

As tourist bike past, life goes on.

Our second hotel had a pool table which the girls enjoyed learning the rules of the game and the time to play outside a smoky bar.

Sapa

Thick blankets of fog roll in and out of Sapa, like a haunted time-lapse video, engulfing the hills and then releasing them as quickly as they came.  Colorfully dressed women appear in traditional clothing asking “where u frooom?” and simply “shooopping?” as they thrust bracelets, bags, and headbands our way.  Rice paddies climb up the cliffs seeming to defy gravity and construction pounds the narrow streets striving to meet throngs of tourist who pulse through this gateway to a simpler life.

We headed to Sapa to return to the mountains, cooler weather and transition into phase three of this journey:  rebuilding. After letting go and breaking down barriers, it was time to embrace this final phase of our as we seem to be racing towards the end.

There were practical parts of this transition that happened in Sapa: math finals, book reports, taxes,  SMART goals and then the most tangible of them all: the purchasing of tickets home. There were also intangible parts like the feeling of space or breath that comes from choosing a path and moving forward.

Part of why we came on this year, was to be better about finding our own paths.  As we settled into our now familiar role of being in a place longer than a traveler but shorter than a local, I realized how much more comfortable we had all become at uncertainty and choosing our own way. The contrast between our wonderings and Sapa's waves of pre-planned tour industry was striking.  

Our time on the year has never run evenly.  It has been more like the fog, sometimes lingering, sometimes racing ahead, and the lessons of what we are learning has felt much the same.  Seeping through the walls we have built over time, this year has been nourishing part of our souls we didn’t know we had. When the clouds lift, I see Lily inches taller than when we started, strong and kind and ready to take on the world.  Isabelle is on the cusp of adulthood, confident and compassionate with the spark of adventure growing stronger by the day and like the fog that I cannot hold or the rainbow I cannot catch, I am just trying to embrace the moments as they come.

To get to Sapa we opted for the night train, an iconic piece of history that rumbles through the countryside leaving Hanoi around 10 pm and arriving in Sapa around 5 am. We decide to go to Sapa and purchased these train tickets only hours we boarded, a far cry from our pre planned time in Norway. Given the late timing of our purchase we were left with one of the simple sleeping cars, 4 beds tucked in a berth, but perfect for our family. The train had an impressive sway as it rumbled along, coming only inches from many of the buildings in Hanoi and going to the restroom left both the girls saying “I think the safety standards are really different here” as they looked down at the unprotected railroad tracks racing by.

The first morning in Sapa, the sun tried to shine through the fog which we would soon learn is the normal weather here, with striking mountains and song birds.

The town itself was this funny balance between 5 star hotels and rural living. The heart of the town was this town center where women all day long were offering to show you “their village” and small kids caring each other in traditional cloths offering “massage” when they held out things for sale, confusing the words, just knowing “other” people want “shopping” and “massage” and give you money in return.

Walking down to the most famous village in Sapa - Cat Cat was lined with things to purchase. But these kids playing up and down the sidewalk were the best, helping each other out, full of giggles.

The kids always traveled in little packs, far away from any parents, this other set of three almost give me a heart attack climbing down a huge ledge with a cliff and running river below. I feel like we have tried to not be over protective for our children, but watching these kids play took “free range” parenting to a whole new level. It got to the point that I had to walk away after trying to convince them not to play there, convicted I was going to watch one of them plunge to their death. They all made it back fine, but seriously left my heart pounding.

These two were the older girls- in-charge of the play on this overlook of the river, some 30 feet up.

On the two sunny days we had we ventured out more on foot, this day on another path we found with our favorite trail app “Pocket Earth” that has great trails anywhere in the world we go. It reminded of of Nepal and the joy of sharing a trail for work and pleasure.

But times are changing here in Sapa and the old trails are being replaced by concrete “roads” to shuttle visitors gear so they can “trek” from village to village. However the roads also make it easier to get supplies and the whole family to town. This is just such a familiar sight in Vietnam, but I can’t get over it.

Another family taking advantage of the improved access to climb above the rice fields that are getting ready to be planted.

One day when we went hiking, Lily put on her pants as it was finally cool enough to do so, and it was striking how much she has grown this year. When we left Alaska these pants covered her ankles.

I know, I know. Motorcycle = Donorcycle. But we would have never left this year if we were afraid of all the things that could happen. Traverse is a good driver and we had helmets. Much of this area can only been seen on motorcycle or after many days of walking (or mountain biking which would be awesome here but never could find any to rent) so we opted for trips out on the motorized two wheels; Traverse driving and changing out who went along - often in this jacket to improve visibility in the fog. All is well that ends well.

But I am always happiest on my own two feet and got some great one on one times with each of the girls in Sapa, here out exploring in the mist.

When we ended up walking through villages not on the “tourist” path, we were delighted to find tons of pigs, chickens and friendly kids. This girl was sporting her Norwegian inspired Frozen dress.

All smiles on our way through the village.

Two little ones just keeping an eye on the water buffalo in the mist.

These guys are fun to watch, always hanging out in the muddy fields. I have ben surprised both here and in Cambodia how much they are still used.

This one had a thing for Lily with a great stare off making it easier for me to get a picture.

We kept watching these little chicks climb in and out from under their mom. Lily could have spent all day here.

As we headed home so were these women, just in the opposite direction.

Brief moments of sun yielded amazing views of the rice paddy fields, early in their season this time of year and striking for how the whole hill sides have been rebuilt to fit the needs of the people.

As we were walking we did end up talking to these women for a while. “La La” and “Bla” were headed to town and kept trying to get us to come to “their village” but we were headed home for the day. Instead they showed up how they weaved, we swapped stories about kids growing up too fast and they gave us bracelets after we asked them if we could take their picture.

They were sweet and funny and watching Traverse with them, it was like he was a giant, the height differences profound.

The stories these women have, it was a joy to spend the afternoon with them.

Making our way up the hillside, farmers working in the distance.

These guys were everywhere. Funny to watch, full of sounds and cleaning up everything.

More free range kids jumping down the embankment without an adult in site.

Near the town of Sapa these beautiful gardens grow to serve the demands of the travelers who want more than rice, pig and chicken for dinner.

Isabelle and Traverse out exploring the Silver Waterfall outside of town.

One day we headed down a different path, quiet and peaceful. Not another tourist for most of the 6 miles past streams and farms.

A whole line up of kids working the fields. Most of the time it was the women and children working the fields, doing the road construction, selling the wears and doing almost every job in town.

Kids herding water buffalo - they were hilarious, jumping off the mounds of the rice fields, throwing rocks and having great time.

More little ones out and about.

Though much of Northern Vietnam these goats roam the hills and then later fill dinner menu.

More chicks trying to stay warm.

Almost every restaurant in town had their roasted pig on a spit and chicken, carving up what was needed when you ordered.

And the local market was full of more chickens to roast when you ran out.

While we loved taking pictures of locals, the girls continue to be a hit. Isabelle gets a wedding proposal regurally and here the girls were doing handstands in the grass when a group, stopped their driver and came running over to get a selfie with them. I guess it is really no different then us getting a selfie with LaLa and Bla, but always funny to be on the other end.

Fabulous Family- Halong Bay and so much more

Traveling this year has been rewarding, fun and full adventure.  At times it has also been lonely, frustrating and made us appreciate the small and great things about home like being close to family and friends.   One of the real joys of the year for us is when family has come to visit. We have tried to help make it work anyway we can and planned a birthday surprise for the girls’ cousin Harrison and his mom Jenny (Traverse’s sister) so they could come and visit for their spring break.

The flight was delayed and so the first day included arriving, egg coffee on the railroad tracks, tuck-tuck tour around town, walking food tour and night market.  The next morning found us eating Ban Mi Sandwiches and what was planned to be a mellow 3 hr motorbike tour turned into a 7 hr adventure before the next day when we headed to the famous Halong Bay.  Three days and two nights we cruised through the stunning bays of Halong (descending dragon bay) and Bia Tu Long (little dragon bay) in what google calls the South China Sea and the Vietnamese call the East Sea. One bonus night in a village fishing, husking rice, making brooms and enjoying a slower pace with a final night in Hanoi before they were back to reality.

The trip went as perfectly as we could hope. Jenny and Harrison were total sports about trying new things and going outside their comfort zone.  There was time for cousin wrestling, sibling jokes and sister-in-law chats. There were beautiful sights and sounds and we all got to do new things.  Seeing the girls around their aunt and Harrison around his uncle was treasured time. They just respond so differently to trusted adults and I love how our village is with us this year, via phone, email, text, facebook and this time in person.

The kids decide to learn to play the “cups” song and wanted to add to the performance art all around town.  Watching them sing “you are going to miss my when I am gone” along the lakefront in Hanoi felt like a symbolically perfect song to play on our last day together.

(more photos can be found in Jenny’s guest blog post - “Sticky Rice” as well as a video of our time together that Traverse put together)

The details of the small moments. This 74 year old women teaching me to make a broom from dried rice stalks one careful twist at a time. She was full of laughter and warmth welcoming our family in as her own.

Welcoming us to her beautiful home.

Our family together from half way across the world sitting together enjoying the quiet time and space.

Cousin fun.

The beauty of Halong Bay.

All three days were like this, beauty where ever you looked.

Small boats rented kayaks to ships that passed through the bay.

This was our Dragon Pear Ship that we lived on for 3 days.

Tender getting ready to take us to land.

Small boats - homes for a fishing family dotted these islands.

Harrison enjoying the deck.

Part of our ever smiling crew

This water village reminded me a lot of Prince William Sound and other water ways in Alaska with incredibly hardy people living with the land and the sea.

Paddling out of a cave on our first night to an amazing sunset.

Ahh, so great to have this time with family along for the adventure.

The older she gets the more like her Dad she becomes, brave, funny, full of sas yet easy going and full of fun.

Villagers lining up to take tourist on a tour of their village on the water.

Here is our guide showing us his home.

More time on boats exploring.

Fishing for dinner. These boats are essentially baskets that are then covered with tar and here they are fishing with a hook and a line, placed in by hand.

Huge formations where ever we turned.

The cruise we took did everything in style, including this amazing picnic lunch we paddles to.

The kids got in the water as we hit the land.

In Croatia we started the ‘swim challenge’ some distance swim, this time it was to the boat and back.

A father and his daughter at sea.

The Zink / Zook kid pyramid tradition being kept alive on land.

And at sea.

Where there is sand, there is a sand castle, this time with two boys from the boat and their parents.

These two are both in the shower, Isabelle in their cabin, Traverse in ours, when this picture is taken out our bedroom window.

View from a cave on one of the islands.

Night in Halong Bay with other ships around.

Learning traditional basket fishing.

Biking around town after Halong.

Learning new skills.

And practicing more pyramids..

I loved what you would see and who you would meet when you headed out of town.

Always a smile.

Not only did we get to see this water puppet show in the town, but on our way home we got to watch the whole show from the back - even more fun to see how the magic was created.

Loving time with cousins and on a new adventure.

Aunts are simply the best.

Here is our whole group for the moped tour - our group this big employed a whole group of college students to drive us around.

Sitting back and touring town.

In front of the cathedral as part of our tour.

Fortunately it was all fun and games in a bit more of a tour than we were expecting.

Seeing where the greens are grown in town.

I love how they basically have the same look. As Lily said, you could think these two were twins sometimes.

Biking home after and afternoon of exploring.

More fun at the market.

Ho Chi Minh’s Mosulium where his body can be seen still today.

All dressed up, ready to preform.

Fun at the night market

Hanging in Hanoi

This year has been punctuated with pauses, times of transition.   It is in these pauses that we have gained the most insight into who we are and what we are learning.  It reminded me of my fine arts minor in college and the lecture on the role of the negative space or as Traverse said, the “black point” makes all the difference in the photography.  We get so busy in life that we forget the role of pausing, adding negative space and the truths that come forth in that pause.

We have had a few of these times recently- after Angkor Wat we spent a week in Siem Riep enjoying the pool, getting over our colds, getting caught up on work, blogs, homework.  We also spent just over a week in Hanoi before family came to visit getting the lay of the land, figuring out the details of the city so when they came we could make the most of our time.  

We learned we have limits, bailing on our airbnb due to mold and bed bugs.  We learned that while we considered moving home and building a “tiny house”, living in one all the time was not as fun in person.  We learned again, that time together is great, but time in small groups or on our own is also invaluable. This year has been a striking reminder that even without work, finding time to read, exercise, and finding balance still takes work and effort.  Two truths keep repeating themselves in these negative spaces, that is only through the breaking down we can rebuild and that balance, like tree poise, is not static but a constant set of micro moves, we are never “balanced” we are always “balancing.” We are always off balance working to straighten ourselves and by embracing the struggles and the pauses are the only way we can truly see the light and grow.

The following is a collection of photos from our time before Jenny and Harrison came to visit us in Hanoi.

The bikes, everywhere the bikes pilled as high as you could reach full of wonder and beauty. The flowers were always my favorite.

Every day they close a section of a street so you can ride carts, kids and play and drive around these toys for rent.

And where the girls learned to Hover Board.

Fun facials from the local store.

Cafe along the railroad tracks. It is amazing how they use space in this town, every last inch being filled and used. Later when we road along the train that goes on this track it was impressive to see how close we got to each building.

Having fun exploring the tracks.

More daily flower baskets.

Beautiful hand painted water puppets at the water puppet theater in Hanoi. We didn’t get any pictures of the event (extra charge to photograph inside) but the it was fun to see the live performance including a beautiful single stringed instrument as part of the accompanying musical support.

Loving the variety of vegetable in the food in Vietnam.

Each street in the old quarter traditionally sold one thing, meat, flowers, vegetables and so on. That pattern still exist today with shops only selling one or two types of things. Here is the pig later one.

Ok so we really liked these bikes with flowers.

Walking around the market where fruit was sold all in a line. These women would then carry these baskets of fruit around town selling their good to anyone who wanted a snack on the road.

Rice, beans and lentils all perfectly stacked.

These were the two hats you see all the time, men in the old military one, women in the one used on the farms. More flowers for sale at the market.

Vegetables as far as you could see. Oh what I would give to have all of these veggies at home!

And more flowers.

Walking through the mountains of fabrics in the central market. It felt was impressive to reflect on the amount of “stuff” we produce as humans especially as it is all crammed together in these densely populated areas near the sight of production.

Scooters, temples, streets and fun adventures.

My little mini me as been wanting a pair of glasses and found this cheap adorable pain here in town on a date night we had together. It is so fun spending one on one time with these two and like most things - she wears it better ;-)

More fun along the tracks.

It was crazy how these baskets work as portable restaurants, stopping with hot coals to grill up an egg and make a Ban Mi.

If only you saw the number of flower pictures we delated!

Fruit for sale.

More market.

One tradition that we loved here is the egg coffee. We heard different stories of how the egg coffee got started - a lack of milk during the war, a farmer who had too many egg yolks. Basically they cream the egg with sweetened condensed milk. The different places all had very different egg coffees, this one with a candle under it to keep it warm as you sipped it. It was fun trying the tradition around town.

Sticky Rice By Aunt Jenny

Harrison and I brought lots of love from Kansas. We came bearing the gifts from the Christmas gift exchange (swap style) we do over FaceTime every year!

Our flight over ended up being about 37 hours and our flight home will be about 35. That doesn’t leave as many days of Spring Break left as we’d like, but we’ll take what we can get! 

We sailed through customs at the Vietnamese airport thanks to a step by step guide of where to turn texted to us by Traverse, allowing us to beat all the big lines and get through faster than most. Then we were greeted by smiling faces and flowers at the airport. What a treat. 

Our whole trip was a whirlwind. Almost immediately after leaving the airport, we found ourselves on a rickshaw tour around Old Town Hanoi. The most notable thing as you ride around the city is the amount of traffic that never seems to stop, almost all mopeds. It’s just a continuous flow in all directions. There’s storefronts and stalls on every corner. 

Then we got our first taste of Vietnamese Food with a walking tour of Old Town Hanoi. Windy was our guide. She walked us to five different places across the city and taught us all about local food & customs. While the food was good, again, the traffic was more notable. Traffic never stops, so crossing the street was quite the experience. She told us to be like sticky rice. Every time we would cross the street, we would all huddle together and just walk forward. It was a complete leap of faith that the cars were going to make space for us as we went, but they did. 

We went on to take a 7 hour moped tour around the city, where we got to meet locals, see markets, an urban farming community, and Ho Chi Minh’s Mausoleum, spend a couple days seeing Halong Bay, and biking around a small Vietnamese town learning about planting rice, fishing, and how to make a broom. 

We saw so much of Vietnam in such a short time. Ultimately though, what struck me most was the people. If I had to capture all of Vietnam in one word, it would be resilient. One of the most beautiful people we met was a 72 year old woman who makes and sells brooms for a living. She has 7 children, all grown, only one can afford to send her pictures to hang in her small two bedroom house. I learned later that her husband is dying of cancer. And yet, she laughed and was joyously present with us, teaching us how to weave rice plants into brooms. Her beauty and strength were radiant. 

As H and I take off. Head back to Kansas (bringing love from Vietnam). I’m grateful for the time to be present with my family. Mom, sister, and aunt are some of my favorite roles in life. I’m grateful that we stick together… like sticky rice. 

VIDEO: Jenny & Harrison Visit Vietnam

click below to play the short video

Angkor Wat and other stones of history

The excitement built as we slowly got closer to the famous Angkor Wat, after all if you don't see Angkor Wat you have not seen Cambodia.  As we got closer the number of tourists slowly increased and so did the signs for NGO projects in the countryside. Coming from the outside in, it was remarkable to see the ways that this huge tourist draw shaped the lives and structure of the people surrounding the area.  

The complex of Angkor Wat is huge and represents the world's largest religious monument and at one time was the largest city in the world.   Originally a Hindu temple it was transformed into one of Buddhism and the mixing of the religions can be seen throughout the temples.  It was also the inclusion of both of these religions that gave the reigning king much broader and accepted influence in the area.   The structures have been almost always occupied since its creation in the 11th century although it fell into disarray by the end of the 12th century with many of the precious stones being stolen.

One of the remarkable things about biking to the area was to see the numerous temples outside the immediate vicinity.  One large complex we visited the day before has recently been established as a world UNESCO site.  Walking through miles of beautiful quiet forest with stunning temples we were the only tourists, a stark contrast to the main site that welcomes 500,000 people a year.

Our last day of biking as part of our tour was also the first of three days we ended up spending in this large vast complex that makes up the Angkor Heritage Site.  By biking with a guide we were able to go through sections we would have missed any other way such as biking for kilometers along the ancient wall or through ancient gates abandoned in the woods.  

Our time in Angkor reminded me that time is such a gift.  Time to try different places for sunrise.  The place made me reflect a lot on time, how time can change the way we perceive an event, how different shades and depths are seen through time and the beauty of time - the trees growing over the massive structures changing the temple over time, a place can go from the center of asia and the largest city in the world, to nearly a ruin, to a large tourist monument over time.   Angkor Wat reminded me of the Giving Tree by Shel Silverstein, giving something different to each who choose to sit with it, holding thousands of years of wishes and prayers and laying witness to time.

Getting up close with history  

We took hundreds of pictures - it was so great to be able to climb in and out of the ruins, seeing it all from different perspectives. 

Fun at the royal gates becomeing part of the artwork.  

Royal museum on the way to temples.  

The famous Cananball Tree and its daily healing flowers  

Quick get your picture.  The mobs of people always throw us off.   

The only part of this temple left is the gate held up by the tree that grew around it.  I loved the interplay between nature and history here. 

Lighting offerings at an abandoned temple.  

Here you can see both the Hindi God and Buddha carved together as the religion changed over time. 

Massive tress at the famous “jungle temple” made famous by Tomb Raider.  

Killing fields

The girls thought I should be clear upfront on what this blog post was about and to warn readers it is graphic, disturbing and unsettling and there is no way to sugar coat it. There may have been an attempt to bury the history of what happened in Cambodia but like the bones and pieces of clothing that stick up through the drying dirt and were uncovered ever rainy season, the brutality of this history of humanity is just under the surface of every story, every interaction in everyday life in this remarkable country.

I remember learning a little about the genocide of Cambodia but I am embarrassed to say before this trip I could have told you little more about the history than it was recent, there were many mass graves, politics I didn’t understand but an uneasy sense that maybe the world should have paid attention earlier.  What we saw and learned was sobering. Details that are shocking - one third to one half of the population was killed in 3 years. It was like a real life serial killer who gained political power who seemed to kill as much for the challenge of killing than any real means to an end. You were killed if you were educated, light skinned, worked too hard, not enough or questioned anything.  And their leader Pol Pot we were told comes from “Political Potential” and had a disturbing desire to document his destruction.

I have struggled getting this blog post up because what do you say to capture the world of emotion seeing your ten year old looking up at skulls stacked stories high?  How to do you explain to your 14 year old that yes, that sign says the tree really was used to beat children’s heads? What is the respectful thing to do when you notice a femur sticking out of the ground in the killing fields?  How to you keep your heart from skipping when the little kid on the street has the same shorts as the ones you just saw in a mass grave? How do you go back to school work when you just walked the walls of a school turned into a prison where blood stains still line the floors and  playgrounds are turned into torture fields? And what if after all of that you guide says now you can meet three of the prisoners here to tell their story? Do you say sorry? Do you simply let the tears flow freely? It reminded how I felt the day of the Newtown shooting, stunned beyond comprehension, not sure how to process it all and the only thing that felt right was to hug my kids.   

I realized after having kids how true it is that your heart lives outside of you and is no longer yours. Around those killing fields watching them take it all in, I felt so fortunate we have been able to raise them at a distance from such atrocities, but so deeply saddened such things exist.  

So yes my dearest girls, I think many would criticize us for taking you to the Killing Fields, but you are strong and brave and this is armor for you.  May the darkness of these fields help you to find the demons that hide in the shadows and give you the strength to shine light on them. You will know sadness and grief greater than you can ever imagine and I can not protect you from that, any more than these mothers could protect their children from this horror.  But may you also remember these people’s resilience, their happy faces, their playful “hello’s” and their ability to speak their demons. Me hiding the horrors of humanity will not protect you any longer as you break into adulthood. All I can do is send my wishes for you and this world you are inheriting and hope that it along with the millions of others wishes sent on Bhutanese prayer flags, Islamic morning prayers, Croatian churches and in peaceful Norwegian woods whisper back to you helping you be kind and courageous as you stumble into the future.

A stupa is traditionally used to hold the remains of important people and loved ones. Upon discovering this killing field outside of the capital and in the area of an old Chinese Cemetery and the hundreds of skulls they built a stupa to place the remains, almost like the tomb of the unknown soldier as a place to remember those who could not be identified.

Inside the stupa, skulls pilled high and sorted by age, and marked by gender and type of death if that could be identified.

Bracelets hanging on the tree to remember the children who suffered here. It was a humbling moment as our guide, the child of this war, told us her story and that of her parents and their escape. She told us of the mantra by the Khmer Rouge - “if you cut the grass, you must pull out the root” and so the brutality knew no boundary by age.

It was really hard to process this moment. I really appreciated their reflection, composure and reverence for this place.

At the base of the skulls were articles of clothing as well as weapons used in the graves.

I kept wondering what was going through their minds at this moment, hoping they will hold onto it as they move forward in life, remembering how people strive for peace yet so often know violence.

Our guide was truly a guide, making the sorties real, sharing her partner stories and talking to the kids what it was like to be a kid at that time.

Holding on to the barb wire surrounding the school that was turned into a prison.

At the end of the tour, three survivors sat with their stories and their families. It was humbling to go from a black and white picture of them in a cell to sitting with them at the gates. This man, full of smiles and kindness lived in the prison the longest of the survivors and we changed one of the girls reading books to this his, grateful again for this year of learning as we go.